
Can you relate to these lyrics I wrote?
Desperate tears fall down his face,
He stares into empty space,
Holds her hand; awaits her death
She gently draws her final breath.
Her photo stands; collected dust,
Now shes gone hes just given up,
Been three whole months, he still can't sleep,
His days are playing on repeat.
He watches blue turn to grey,
Stars twinkle in unsteady light,
Without her there it's an empty life,
She was taken from the tranquil night
He knew it would happen,
But didn't believe,
That all the memories,
Could all just leave.
But her strength when she was dying,
And her smile that she will remain in,
Was all he had to keep from falling,
When her twilight hour for her came calling.
I'm trying to write lyrics that can actually connect with people emotionally. How can I improve these lyrics in order to do that? Thanks (:
Do your lyrics relate with your experiences? That's all that matters.
