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How do I make my partner realise that his cannabis use is a financial and psychological burden on our family?
When I met my partner 4 years ago, we were both heavy pot users. But due to grow up and maturing a bit, plus a nervous breakdown, I stopped smoking poy over a year ago. My partner is still going strong. He thinks nothing of spending $90-$100 a pop. I had to give him his busfare for the week to get to work and tell him that it has to last as it is all that he can have. He didn't like that, but doesn't seem to understand that if he quit smoking pot we would be much better off. I thought that he would naturally come to the conclusion to give it away, but he hasn't. I do not like him stoned around our children, and I cringe at the thought of him driving our new car that we worked so hard for stoned aswell. I try to talk to him about this and he tells me that I am trying to take away something that he loves. I have resorted to taking out little chunks of bud, so that he doesn't smoke as much. I am at my wits end with this, what do I do?
Be conisistent, if he spends his money, then thats it, dont give him any more money. Dont be so "nice" about it. Talking to him logically doesnt work, so just tell him straight that you hate him using pot and you thought he would be more responsible and mature to not be stoned around the children. Tell him his addiction is ruining your marriage and if he doesnt stop, then it wont be long till he forces you out that door. Ask him is he prepared to lose you?
Maybe when he drives stoned, you can ring the police and tell them anonomously. Maybe he needs to be picked up and taken to court to make him realise that "you taking away something he loves" has greater consequences than the possibility of you leaving him, but also the possibility of jail time. It is like a person who drives while under the influence of alcohol....its downright dangerous. You are worried about him damaging your new car? What about if he killed an innocent person? Something he loves has the potential to get him into serious trouble, he could lose you, lose his kids, but worse than that, he could lose his life or the life or lives of some innocent driver or pedestrian. Him driving stones has the potential for a lot of lives to be ruined, not just his own.
You dont have to be nice about this. You are right, he needs to get off the stuff....its expensive and dangerous. Stand your ground. Maybe start talking to an old boyfriend and when he asks you to stop it, tell him that he is trying to take away something that YOU love. YOU love certain things, so what's good for the goose is good for the gander. If he doesnt consider you or your children's feelings, then why consider his?
Good luck
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